My longest run yet and then the beach...

This week was busy. Lots of work and I'm taking some time off to go to my parents' beach house which will be a 5 hour car trip to Rehoboth, DE. I want to take time to relax at the beach so I've decided to skip the back to back runs on the weekend and do one long run tomorrow - 6 hours or 32 miles which ever comes first. I've carbed up and hydrated all day so all I need now is some rest. If I make this distance it will be the longest I have ever run at one time. I want to keep my pace under 11 minutes which will be a challenge for me because I have a tendency to play head games with myself during the later miles of these long runs. And as I learned last week if I'm not prepared I won't do well mentally. I finally got in touch with the people at the Run for Congo NYC branch and I will be connecting with them more. But now its time to sleep...

Getting Faster...

Well I guess all of this running is having an impact on my pace. I got up at 5:15 this morning and ran 6 miles. Here were my splits: mile 1 - 9:40, mile 2 - 8:24, mile 3 - 6:47, mile 4 - 9:06, mile 5 - 8:18, mile 6 - 9:16. Mile 3 at 6:47 is the fastest mile I've ever run. I had to look at my watch 3 times while I was running to believe it.

Update on Miles Purchased

Miles purchased for Congo so far:

Mile 1 – Sally Fridy

Mile 2 – Sally Fridy

Mile 3 – Sally Fridy

Mile 4 – Sally Fridy

Mile 5 – Sally Fridy

Mile 6 – Gustavo Gutierrez

Mile 7 – Kevin Weaver

Mile 8 – Tammy Breitenbach

Mile 9 – Carlos Jimenes

Mile 10 – Krista Vasquez

Mile 11 – Thiago Da Silva, Cate Cannon, Simon O’Neil, Hollie Goldman

Mile 12 – Michele Foster (.5 mile)

From discouraged to enthused...

Yesterday I ran a tough run. I didn't prepare well. I didn't carb up prior to the run and I paid for it. Friday night I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner, had inadequate sleep and then I didn't eat much in the morning. I didn't start running until after noon and it was hot. And I planned a tough run. I wanted to do hill training so I spent the first 13 miles running hills. The first 4 miles had 3 very steep inclines that totaled about 3 quarters of a mile. Then the fun started... The next 3 miles were all on a steady incline except for about a half mile's worth of down hill the following 4 miles after that were continuing rolling steep inclines and declines and then I finished the initial 13 miles with a 2.5 mile decline. After that the plan was to run another 10 miles. Well I made it to mile 21 and then I had to walk. I started getting dizzy and I felt bad. I hit mile 20 at 3 hours and 40 minutes which is an 11 minute pace which I feel was respectable considering the 13 miles of hills. But I just ran out of gas after that. As I was walking home on those last 2 miles I thought, "How am I ever going to do 50?" But I really need to go a bit easier on myself. This is part of training. I really pushed it yesterday. Then I ran 17 today with Steve in 3 hours flat (10:35 minute per mile pace) and was pumped because we ran the last hour at a fast pace (for me that is). The final 6 miles were all under 10 minutes. Mile 16 (mile 39 on the weekend) was at 8:50. I felt pretty badass after that. After that mile Steve said to me, "well, you can do it." And that's that. I can do it. My legs are sore now. Off to bed.

My Obedient Legs

I woke up this morning with pangs in my legs. I keep having anxiety dreams about my legs... like they're damaged beyond repair. Then I wake up and they're fine. I'm nervous about the run in October. But this morning I thought that through all the running I've done so far, no matter how painful it got or how slow I was trudging along or how much I wanted to quit, my legs kept moving if I told them to. They have yet to quit on me. Your body can go much farther than your mind allows you to think it can...

An Elite Athlete by Accident

Only 70,000 people compete in ultra marathons every year on the planet earth. Which means that only 0.00012% of the population participates on a yearly basis. I think this can qualify me as an elite athlete. After all of those boyhood dreams of standing on the playing field alongside professional athletes were dashed years ago, I will be able to at least argue that at age 40 I became an elite athlete without even setting out to do so... Strange indeed. Ran 5 today. Will run 9 tomorrow. Off to bed.

The Hero and the Idiot...

So I went to Human Resources and to my boss today and told them that I was raising funds for Congo. I also sent the website link to my design teams. Its hilarious in a way. I always do this to myself. I put myself out there in front of everyone and really jack up the pressure to perform. If I fail, I fail in front of everyone (like the idiot). If I succeed???... Am I the hero then? I don't know. Maybe in some ways. I'm pretty much going "no guts no glory" on this and there is a very real possibility that I could crash and burn. What if I get hurt or sick or something? I always get self-conscious too. The real torture is that whenever I begin to talk to anyone about it the response usually has that, "well what did you expect?" kind of tone. This all amounts to a bunch of psycho-dribble which I can excel at. Which brings me full circle... And I will quote Rod from my Facebook page... "Run it Dan! Just run it!" Off to bed now.

My Conundrum of a Cause...

I'm finding myself hesitant to actually come out and tell people the exact nature of what it is I'm running for. I watch the video about Lisa Shannon and Generose every so often (http://video.nytimes.com/video/2010/02/03/opinion/1247466865007/an-american-in-congo.html). It can be hard to watch. I've seen people turn away when watching it. Its a fascinating phenomenon if you really think about it. And I'm not even coming from a "bleeding heart - save the children" place. I'm talking about what is just plain human. The shock and the horror are too much to digest at first. So we turn away which in the end results in a decision (by default) not to do anything to help. Clearly we don't approve of what we see, yet we do nothing. No one with any kind of a decent upbringing (or even not-so-decent for that matter) can begin to fathom what makes people behave the way these "soldiers" do. It is such a contrast to the way I comprehend human existence. I'm human. I've been enraged. I've hated people. I've felt contempt for women. I've experienced all kinds of different "inappropriate" and unpleasant emotions. I would go so far to say that this is normal. Maybe we don't always discuss these feelings but I don't think its at all out of line to say that most, if not all of us have had them... But there is nothing I can even begin to comprehend that would make someone behave this way. Putting aside the obvious victims (the women and children)... What happened to the perpetrators? They learn to detach and treat their victims like objects. It takes some courage not to turn away from the images that have come from Congo. And once you don't turn away you realize that you have no choice but to act. That is scary and can mess up your idea of who you are. I fully understand Lisa Shannon's reasoning behind leaving her life in the states and going to Congo to help. Maybe it is beyond courageous. But maybe its just an example of someone who had the courage not to turn away and to simply make an attempt to improve the world that she observes. I saw a piece on her yesterday that said she's raised over $700,000. Amazing and inspirational. I don't think we should all pack up and leave for Congo. But I do think we should make some kind of effort to facilitate change.

Running Through It

Did not want to get up and run this morning but I did it anyway. I ran 6. I only ran 3.5 yesterday even though I was supposed to run 9 so I'm making that up today. I am supposed to do 5 today but will run 10.5. I'm really happy that 50 miles to Congo raised $700 last week. It really makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. And I know people are only kidding around when they say I'm nuts... They're not totally out of line. It IS nutty,what I'm doing. But yesterday a colleague told me she thought what I was doing was great. It made me happy. That's what its about. At the end of it all be strong, do your best and try to make something good out of what you're dealt. As for all the rest, just 'run through it'. That's my moto lately. Off to get ready for work. Will run 4.5 at lunch.

I really have to remind myself that what I'm doing is fundamentally positive. I feel self conscious because I am pushing this out to everyone I know with this blog and the website and everything... like I'm being self-indulgent. I know that it is to a degree and that people could, and probably will perceive it this way. Also the "you're crazy" part kind of bugs me. Maybe its because people have been telling me I'm crazy my whole life. The truth is there is something that really attracts me to this kind of a challenge. When I first heard about ultra-marathons I never thought in a million years that I would actually even begin to attempt one. I reacted to the idea of running so far as super human. And now I know its very attainable (at least I know that running 44 miles in 2 days is attainable to me). So I guess with all of the head-chatter that's going on inside me I've discovered a new irony... Trying to be super-human is a very human thing to do. And I have yet to become "superman". I'm still carrying around all of the hang-ups that I had before. Funny thing is that I could have told you that this would have been the case before I even started. So that begs the question, "why even make the attempt?" And I think the answer is very simple but not totally mind blowing. Its just making me a little bit better at being me.

My 2 yr old daughter whacked her head today and there was blood everywhere. We're now thinking that we should have taken her to get stitches. 20/20 hindsight... I took a nap with her and then left her to run 18 miles. I felt guilty. The run was ok but I wasn't in a good mood. It took about 3 hours and 20 minutes. That was 44 miles in 2 days. Another personal best but I am starting to feel like "that nutty guy who has to go running all the time."

Ran 11 miles this morning. Left the house at about 10 to 6:00. I had to be back at 8:00 so Liz could go and teach her spinning class. I will now set out to run another 15 miles. The good news is that the injury to my right leg felt like it disappeared and I was running at a bit of a quicker pace (avg about 9:50 per mile). I will consciously run the 15 slower because its going to involve lots of hills. People call me crazy for doing this and I know its "off the cuff" when they do, but sometimes when I'm in a tough spot I start thinking about this and it gets me down. I knew getting into this training that I would be dealing with my own negativity and when I start becoming negative I can feed off of anything. I just keep running through this stuff though, and that's really all it takes to make it. Its one of those obvious huge life lessons that is in everyone's face that we just ignore because its easier to. But man its so much better to persevere!

So its Friday and I’m exhausted. I really need to make an effort to eat and sleep better. My legs need to heal in the down time and I’m now at a level of running where there’s not much time for them to do it. This week has been especially hectic because I had to work late every night. I was finishing the production of the 5 videos for the launch of our corporate web site… aggravating at times… I’ve definitely been wrapped up in my own head this week and I haven’t been able to spend a lot of time with Liz and the kids. I don’t like this. Tomorrow I want to run 26 miles and then on Sunday another 18. That’s 44 miles on the weekend. I did 42 miles two weeks ago so I don’t know why it feels so daunting. I think it’s the fact that 26 miles is the length of a marathon and I have yet to run that distance in under 5 and a half hours. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that these distances are intimidating.