Inspiration...

I just got back from running 3 miles. I'll run another 4 at lunch time. It occurred to me that even though I sit around thinking about the "deaf ears" there's so much more to consider when I accept the fact that maybe I've actually inspired some folks out there. And I've raised some awareness for the women and children of Congo. In that sense, I've done my job and I've passed along some of the inspiration that has taken me... I got it good. That's all there is to it.

“Sister Dan”

Recently in an attempt to amp up donations to my “50 Miles to Congo” cause I began posting my web address on Lisa Shannon’s Facebook page. I was surprised at how accessible Lisa herself was on her page. Almost instantly she wrote “love it” and “Let’s all support Sister Dan!” I was thrilled about this honestly. And even though I am a touch hesitant to digest the idea of being referred to as “Sister Dan,” I was honored that she did. On Saturday, I posted on her page that I didn’t think I was going to make the $5000 goal that I had set out to accomplish. And in response Lisa wrote that if I could assemble 30 people together in one place that she would personally call in to pitch sponsorship to them. I also found out in the last week that Lisa was chosen by Oprah Winfrey as one of 2010’s most powerful women in this month’s “O” Magazine. On top of all of this, I found out that the NYC chapter of “Run for Congo Women” raised $48k on Saturday and an anonymous contributor promised to match the amount. Today I sent an email to my boss and to my CEO asking if they would be willing to allow me to get people together at IIR. I spoke to my boss briefly and she said that there may be logistical issues but we may be able to work something out. I am waiting to hear back from them.

All of this stuff is exciting and interesting but I am forced to think about what the cause is all about and how monumental a cause it is in the first place… Its partly why I chose this cause for my run. Its seemingly impossible to conceptualize and rectify in your mind. Still many people don’t really have any idea of what goes on in the Congo and it all kind of fascinates me in a way. Like, even myself, I have to confront myself sometimes about what I’m doing. Is this just a one time push to raise money or is this something I will continue to commit time and effort to? As I wrote on my site when I first took this on... Everyone knows the answer to, “do I help a suffering child?” You must act. So, I seem to have put myself in a bind… Becoming “Sister Dan” could potentially and ironically define the kind of man I choose to be. Man, if I keep going with this train of thought I just start sounding weirder and weirder… as if attempting to run 50 miles is normal!

The truth is that we all have the same answer to that question. So what ends up happening?... what is referred to as "activism"... I'm now acting like an "activist". Putting this stuff in front of people and saying, "Look at this. Are you going to deal with this or not?" Its a drag, right, a buzz kill. But, on the other hand, what else is there to do? It reminds me of the quandry Paul O'Neil found himself in with George W. Bush after visiting African countries with Bono... like weirdly realizing that I have the power to do something here and then saying something about it to deaf ears. Only to realize that I was just as deaf not 2 minutes before. All very odd...

At the end of the peak, a bald eagle...

Yesterday's run was the last of my very long training runs. It lasted 5 hours and 14 minutes and it was one of the best runs in all of my training. I went up to my long time friend Matt's summer house in the Catskills for his 40th birthday. The house is gorgeous. It sits on the Delaware River. Matt cooked ribs and sausage on the grille. We roasted marsh-mellos on the fire and made s'mores. the stars and moon came out and my 2 year old daughter, Emily, ran out on the yard and started jumping up in the air "catching the stars". She would catch a start and then run it over to one of us standing in the yard watching. It was the best. I woke up at 4:50am without an alarm and set out on the pitch black road. Luckily Matt had a head lantern that I wore which I honestly don't know how I would have managed without because there was NO light on the road. I took two steps on the road and came face to face with a skunk who was just sitting on the side of the road. It's 2 eyes glowed by the dim light of my lantern which freaked me out at first and then I made out its form in the dark. I just ran right by it and it didn't seem to care much about me. Then I kept on going in the dark. The light of my head-lantern was the only light source except for the occasional house light that went by. And there were points that were just plain creepy. Like I heard something howling. I thought to myself, "There is something howling..." I just kept going. And there were all these abandoned barns that just looked like something out of the Blair Witch Project the way they very faintly would appear as my light flickered against them. It didn't start to get light out until about 6. So that hour was interesting because of all of the "goings on" in the darkness... I didn't listen to music because I wanted to keep my wits about me. Between 6:00 and 7:00 I ran the same route that I ran from 5:00 to 6:00. The sun was coming up and I got to see all of the forms that were creeping me out in the pitch black. That was interesting. I also saw that there were parts where I was running on the river's ridge that was surprisingly high above the water. From 7:00 to 8:00 I ran into the woods on a dirt road that Matt said would take me 5 and a half miles to the next main road and then I could turn back. I headed down the road, took a wrong turn and ended up at a dead end at about 40 minutes in. So I turned around and headed back. There were parts of this run where the scenery was just beautiful. At one point I came out of the woods into this massive field of overgrown grass that was surrounded by the woods. I felt like I'd found a whole new part of the world. And the fact that I was running on dirt made my legs grateful... its just a lot less pounding on the body than the pavement. By 8:00 I was back at Matt's and he'd asked me to swing by at 8:00 because he may want to run some with me. I had 2 more hours to go and was wondering if he'd be able to do 2 hours of running. He did exactly that which was pleasantly surprising and it just made the end of the run fantastic. We ran somewhere between 11 and 12 miles and just talked most of the way which kept my mind off the fact that I was running somewhere in the last 10 miles out of 50 for the weekend. The weather was perfect for running and to end it all we saw a bald eagle right at the end of the run just about 500 feet from Matt's driveway. It was perched in a tree high above the water but that we were at eye-level with because of the ridge that the road was on. I'm going to try and be somewhat poetic here and take that eagle as a good omen... such a powerful animal that has, to this day survived extinction. It was enormous. It was the first time I'd ever seen one just living in the wild. Just awesome. I felt great (only a little sore). It was a great run.

The peak of training

I am approaching my second weekend in a row where I will be running 50 miles. I figured out today that if I do this I will have run 126 miles within 8 days. Four of those days will be spent running 100 miles. I feel a bit groggy. The crazy thing is that today I ran 9 miles total (first a 3 miler then a 6er) all at an 8:30 pace (very fast for me). I feel like people are sick of hearing about all of the mileage but I still can't really get over the fact that I'm here. 38 weeks of training down, 3 weeks to go. I was thinking this morning about the raw experience of running. And how I want to look to people for guidance but that most people can't even conceive of running this much so how could they possibly give me guidance? Then I thought this must be what champions go through. I've always wanted to be a champion at something. I was a great wrestler where I came from for example, but I was never a champion. I feel like its something that you do alone. Like, the champion takes that step into victory and stands alone and no one is giving him guidance because he doesn't need any... I don't know. I then thought about the "rawness" of it again in terms of having a spiritual experience. Like mostly when I run, there is no one else with me. No politics, no deadlines to meet, no bureaucratic BS, no one judging me, no religion, no one being disappointed, no one disappointing me... Its me and my emotions pretty much always. And me and my pain a lot of the time. Maybe its me and God. I think that's it. I think running to me is like praying. I think this because I don't pray much anymore. And the reason I don't is because whenever I prayed growing up I always thought, "God knows what I'm thinking so why do I have to tell Him. He's already in there, no?" It kind of didn't make any sense. Plus half the time I felt like whatever I said was contrived. And then the other issue I have with prayer is that you're supposed to be all humble to God when you pray but in most prayers you end up telling God what to do. Like the "Our Father" for example..."Give us this day our daily bread." I kind of abandoned organized religion because its saturated with contradictions like this. To me faith is action. And to me running is all about action... realizing my limitations, learning humility, persevering through pain, feeling all emotions, grieving my losses, being in the moment, remembering how much I love the people I love (and hate the people I hate), and probably most importantly, hoping for the best. And then going through all of this in support of the Congolese. Silently, I hope for them. That's as close to praying as I think I can get. This is very funny because I still don't know how much I even like running. uh boy... Anyway, I will close the sermon for today... going to bed.

Update on miles purchased and the fear of death

I’ve spent the past few weeks focusing a lot on the running aspect of what I’m doing. In the mean time people have been contributing to the “50 Miles to Congo” cause. To date I’ve raised $13,15.00 which is fantastic. Two more people have said that they would pledge $50 each.

Mile 1 – Sally Fridy

Mile 2 – Sally Fridy

Mile 3 – Sally Fridy

Mile 4 – Sally Fridy

Mile 5 – Sally Fridy

Mile 6 – Gustavo Gutierrez

Mile 7 – Kevin Weaver

Mile 8 – Tammy Breitenbach

Mile 9 – Carlos Jimenes

Mile 10 – Krista Vasquez

Mile 11 – Thiago Da Silva, Cate Cannon, Simon O’Neil, Hollie Goldman

Mile 12 – Melissa Ashley

Mile 13 –Tim Nudd (.3 miles) Anne Reel (.5 miles) Amanda Powers (.35 miles)

Mile 14 –Michele Foster (.5 miles)

Raising any money at all has made my effort worth it, even if no one else donates from this point on. I’m thinking of other ways in which I can fund-raise after the race. Last year I was toying with the idea of creating and marketing children’s books that would bring aid to children in Africa. This could be a perfect segue into something like that.

One family member offered a generous donation if I promised not to run any more 50 miles races after this. I really didn’t know how to respond to that. I can’t deny the extreme nature of this kind of training but I will say that my body has risen to the occasion surprisingly well. I feel healthier than I’ve felt in a very long time. I eat much healthier for one because I just can’t take too much junk food with all of the running. And I definitely appreciate people being concerned about me and (I hate to say) concerned about my kids losing their dad. But I have stuck with the training and I pay attention to what my body’s telling me. No serious injuries yet. Plus my heart rate is pretty low and steady when I run. I don’t even get out of breath much. I can tell when it starts getting intense and you just can’t stay at an intense pace without gassing out after a few miles… I will say this. I’m in a better place than I was when I was 50-60 lbs over weight. And I think if you look at the ratio of people who’ve died running against the ratio of people who’ve died from obesity-related diseases you’ll see a dramatic difference. So knock on wood, all is good… for now. I may not run any more of these races but I’m not going to decide that until it’s done.

New shoes, pitch black and 83 miles ahead

I started off this long weekend with purchasing some much-needed, new running shoes. I was wearing the pair that I'd purchased in May. They still look new on the top but the bottoms look like someone sliced half the tread off with a machete. And when I wear them it feels like I'm standing on a dome with the insides of my feet curving upward. They're garbage now. I never went through a pair that quickly but I realized that I've run about 800 miles since May... so there you go. We then went to Liz' dad's in the Pocono Mountains for Labor Day weekend. The hills up there are pretty intense - 2 and 3 mile steep inclines, lots of downhill running with rolling hills. I ran 38 miles over the past 3 days to break in the new shoes - 5 miles Saturday, 18 miles Sunday and 15 miles today. I kept close to a ten minute pace the whole way through. I don't know what I'm going to do when the race is over. I've worked so long and hard to achieve this level of ability and to just let it go seems to be a waste. I mean yesterday's 18 mile run was like nothing. I can remember 2 to 3 mile runs that felt much harder. Sometimes I think about it and it kind of blows my mind. When I was in the store buying the shoes another customer, a woman, was also buying shoes and she was asking all kinds of questions because she was training for a marathon. She said, "I ran 12 miles last weekend and I'm running 13 this weekend." I'm not even bragging here and I know that's a lot of running for most people... it just sounds like peanuts to me at this point. I also bought a Camelback hydration back pack. WOW! Should've bought that a lot sooner. It holds 100 oz of fluid and sits comfortably on my back with a nicely designed hose for easy intake. Until now I've been running holding water bottles (which I was used to). The pack just frees up my arms and feels nicer. Because of Liz' running schedule (she's training for the Philly marathon in November), I've had to make some adjustments with my schedule so I did my back to back long runs today (a Monday) and yesterday. She ran 18 miles on Saturday which is why I only ran 5. She also ran first and didn't get back until 11:30am and I really hate missing time with my kids so I only went out for 50 minutes. I try to get up and run before the kids wake up. So like today, for example Steve and I were out the door at 5:30am. The days are definitely getting shorter because it was pitch black when we set out. The house is back in the woods and we couldn't see anything as we were leaving the property. There was just a touch of light when we hit the road but I remember mentioning to Steve that I couldn't tell if the road was inclining or declining in front of us which was a completely new experience for me. Steve, who's an ex-marine said that the setting reminded him of boot camp. Next weekend will be my first attempt at a 50 mile weekend. So this week will be an 83 mile week when all is said and done (the most miles in one week in my entire schedule). We'll have to see how I feel mid-week. If I'm sore or fatigued I'd rather drop some mileage off the two 9 mile runs that I have planned on Wednesday and Thursday than skimp on my 50 mile weekend (20 miles Saturday and 30 miles Sunday)... I will close this entry by saying I don't regret my decision to run this race one bit and that the training alone has caused a transformation in me. I really believe that I can attain whatever it is in life that I set out to do regardless of the level of difficulty. And that, as Stanley would say, is beautiful.

40 lbs

I have now lost 40 lbs since I started the training. I was 233 when I started and yesterday I weighed in at 193. I definitely feel better without that extra weight but I have to say its strange looking in the mirror at myself because I'm thinner than I've been in the past decade. So it reminds me of being in my 20's but I'm 40 now. I'm clearly older looking... Its just a bit strange.

3 Personal Bests in One Week, Then Rest...

Last week I ran my fastest mile ever (6:47), then I clocked my fastest 26 mile run (4:32), then I ran my longest run ever (32 miles). The 32 mile run included some rest time (about 35-40 minutes total). I came back home at mile 22 which I had clocked at 3:42 (a 10:06 per mile pace). Even if you include the rest time at mile 22, my 26 mile time comes out to 5:12 which beats my best marathon time by over a half hour. The whole run lasted 5:28 which is a 10:15 pace not including the rest. If you include the rest the run lasted 6:08. This was very encouraging. If I can repeat this on race day that will give me roughly another 6 hours to run the left over 18 miles and make my goal of completing the run in 12 hours. After all of this I went down to Rehoboth, DE to spend a few days of rest at the beach with my family. That was nice. I didn't touch my computer or look at a running shoe for 3 days! As far as the fund raising is going, 50 Miles to Congo has officially raised $1315.00 with another $100.00 that I was told would be donated. I will begin focusing a bit more on fund raising in the near future. I've reached out to the Run for Congo Women New York City branch and they gave me the number of a guy who started a men's running group. There is also a 5k in September for the cause. I may run in that. We'll see.