Every day you should try to save the world… You will fail at this, but you should try to do it anyway.

Am I feeling on edge?… being self indulgent?... it doesn’t really matter.

I’m definitely feeling edgy this week. Luckily I’ve been able to sleep well. I have two concerns for the run. One is a sore left knee which really hurt about a week and a half ago but is dulling down now. The other is what feels like an impending sinus infection which I really don’t need at this point. I’m drinking fluids like mad and trying to get some much needed rest. This week is the first week in a long time that I’ve put resting in front of running. Today I was supposed to run 6 miles but I only ran 3.5 and then I walked from work to Penn Station which is roughly a mile and a half. I’ve completed the critical training. This week is the end of my tapering so I’m babying myself a bit to ensure that I’m feeling as good as possible on Saturday.

What’s been going on in my mind when I’m not running around like a madman at my job? Well, I’ve been thinking of the people who’ve sent me notes of encouragement and support. Its really been the nicest surprise out of all of this. Mostly on Facebook, I get messages from people all over giving me compliments and uplifting sentiments… people from Seattle, Chicago, Denver, Spain, Ottowa, cousins from Argentina. They say things like I’m “amazing” and “awesome”. It makes me feel self conscious. Today I was talking about it and a colleague asked, “Do you like the attention, Dan?” and I said, “yes.” Its true. I do like the attention. Do I think I’m “amazing” and “awesome?” …eh, I don’t know about all that. I will say this…

I sometimes think about people who get into trouble with their own low self-esteem and how much it can really get in the way of living a good life. You can see it all the time with people. Many times its totally obvious to all but the person themselves. I’m definitely guilty of feeling low about myself at points. In fact if you really want to get into the psychology of what I’m doing (i.e. running the 50, joining a political movement and posting all about it on the internet), you could surmise that I’m compensating for something, like some kind of inadequacy. And you’re probably right... the big lesson I’ve learned here is that it really doesn’t matter. I’ve been asked if I was trying to prove something. I think so. People have said cynically, “what?... are you trying to save the world?” Yes, I think I’m doing that too. I am trying to save the world. But I will be clear. I have no delusions of succeeding at this. I’m not insane. So if you want to take my advice, here it is:

Every day you should try to save the world… You will fail at this, but you should try to do it anyway.

And there it is. Its that simple. The “what I’ve learned from training to run 50 miles” statement.